Saturday, August 06, 2005

Peace Offer

I'm perfectly willing to satisfy the requests of the ULA's opponents-- but only under certain conditions, and on condition of the ULA's approval.

I'll agree to shut down this blog and take a long vacation from the ULA, if:

1.) Wealthy novelist Jonathan Franzen returns his NEA literature grant, which he received under false premises, as the award is intended to fund a person's writing, and he didn't use it for this purpose.

2.) That Rick Moody give back to the Guggenheim Foundation the funds he received from them several years back, and agree not to appear on panels doling out money to writers.

A fair deal? Specific details can be negotiated.

4 comments:

King Wenclas said...

The Moody affair was the issue over which the ULA was founded, so I don't think the request is out of line.
As for Franzen--
sorry, but I work my ass off on my jobs, and the idea that my tax dollars have gone to a rich fop like him is repugnant. It's only one example of many of how the working poor subsidize rich people-- but it is an example.
(I've been working currently as a telemarketer-- $6.50 an hour plus commission. Wow! Rolling in the bucks. It's survival of the fittest-- make quota or you're gone. I'm good at it. I've appeared at my share of open mics before, but my best performances by far have been in calling rooms.
I went in today for a few hours-- overslept and got there an hour late. Was for forty-five minutes on my first call. Have to be good, and I mean good, to keep the person on the line for more than five seconds, because everyone wants to hang up on you. Forty-five minutes. I created images in the person's head, pulled tales out of the air to throw at a person. Like reading at an open mic for forty-five minutes, but more at stake. A lot more. Have to be "on." I made the sale and got the credit card number, I took the order. A lot was on the line-- I'd like to continue eating and keep a roof over my head.
The statements of folks supporting Franzen on this blog shows how little they know about their own country-- as little as he does, which is sad, because he's supposed to be our leading novelist. Can our leading novelist know virtually nothing about the realities of the society in which he lives? He merely floats through America, like a tourist, while most of the rest of us are slaving in various ways in its bowels.
I've been working another, much tougher job as well-- on break from it-- I plan to write about it when I bring back my "Zytron" feature, which will be soon.
Franzen's one of these guys who's had the road greased for him from Day One. From the top 5% socioeconomic level (Moody from the top 0.001%); raised in comfort; had well-educated parents, attended the best schools, the best instructors, best mentors; have been given free publicity which THEY didn't work for and every kind of item of largesse for much of their writing careers. Franzen had nine years to write his last novel. Nine years! What a pet. One of the System's lapdogs, wearing glasses. He best stay inside the mansion, and not wander outside the walls of the estate, where roams the dogpack. . . .
And the result of all this comfort, nursing, and feeding-- is what? Do you really think what he writes is any good? Not for this reader it's not. I want to read something real, with meat, which tells in clear ways the truth.
Butterflies in gilded cages. Not on my dime.
To ULAers: Most of the privileged snobs who've been posting anonymously on this blog will never accept us whatever we do. Put on shows, be positive; do exposes, attack; do whatever-- it doesn't matter. This is the way the world is. We'll outflank them or we'll run over them, but they aren't going to renew literature, and they won't help us do it. They've had their chance, for decades, and have grown only more insular as literature moves farther away from the populace, becoming more and more detached. Wineglasses at the club.

J.D. Finch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Patrick S. @ RedFez said...

It's a pretty funny parody overall---the best one posted here recently. But in between your humor there's a strong slice of class bias. It's no joke taking the bus to a crappy job. Relying on public internet access is a bitch too. If you've ever had to experience these things i don't thing you'd poke fun at them so easily. I've been unemployed/underemployed for only short stretches at a time, thank god. But even a few months of it does something to the soul. Okay to laugh at the ULA and Karl, but watch for what comes around.

King Wenclas said...

At least he didn't tell me to eat cake!