The Ballad of Phillip Lopate

See him thumping down the streets
kicking vagrants, punching Beats
Call him Phillip Lopate

Pontificating from cushy Academy's nest
P for Professor on his chest
Stifling rebellion is what he does best!
Well-trained Phillip Lopate

Sour features, turned down thumb
"Jack Kerouac was a bum!"
Watchdog Phillip Lopate

Face of conformity, institutionalized school
"Everybody has to follow the rules!"
Guardian Phillip Lopate

Wears the grimace of a cop
New ideas make him blow his top
Officer Phillip Lopate

"Single File! Get in line!
Or I'll have you do hard time!"
Authority's Voice Phillip Lopate

Others control him, behind the scenes
pushing his buttons, pulling his strings
Obedient Phillip Lopate

Watch him speak now on the stage
Establishment Protector full of rage
"Dare not tamper with Literature's page!"
The man they call Phillip Lopate.

(chorus)
Oh, yeah, Phillip Lopate
Yeah, yeah, Phillip Lopate
Oh, my, Phillip Lopate
Say goodbye please Phillip Lopate!