"Cocktails with Molly Ivins"

Yes, kids, it's time to sign up for the yearly Nation magazine cruise.

All aboard! Join the line-up of pseudo-Lefties aboard a gigantic luxury liner. Play blackjack with Victor Navasky! Screen movies with Jane Smiley! Be waited on by Third World types aboard ship and on the islands!

Signs are already going up throughout the Caribbean. Reggae songs celebrating the wealthy Americans are already being played. The Great White Liberals are on their way.

"Katrina she no own the ship
Na-tion Ma-ga-zine Is Coming!
No one own it so they say
not even rich white billionaire lady
Na-tion Ma-ga-zine Is Coming!

"Victor he done played the game
Rushing now they all to save us
Big white boat it rides the waves
Na-tion Ma-ga-zine Is Coming!

"These rich liberals they be good
Sailing now with lots of money
Drink they rum eat lots of food
Na-tion Ma-ga-zine Is Coming!"

A conga line has started on the island, poor happy smiling natives joining in with the rich visitors who've arrived like white gods in their Big Boat; like Columbus himself! Steel drums sound everyplace. The happy singing grows louder. "Na-tion Ma-ga-zine Is Coming!"

(Note: The Philly chapter of the Underground Literary Alliance is organizing its own competing excursion. So far all we can come up with for ideas is to "Ride the Ducks"-- a famed local tourist outing; small wheeled boats with quacking ducks painted on them which ride on the river as well as on land. Riders get free the famous "Wacky Quacker" for noise making, which sounds like ULA style. We're not sure though if ULA members and fans can afford the ride's $24 per person charge!)