Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Are YOU Bohemian?

Bizarrely, this is a question which was raised by a yuppy lit-blogger about the ULA.

I hope Chris Robin's Monday Report, and my post below, help answer the question regarding ourselves. (It's obvious the feckless idiot who made the remark never met ULA poet Frank Walsh! who lives amid typifies embodies epitomizes real bohemia-- as do other ULAers.)

To help discloud the fog of confusion of our enemies, I've put together a simple checklist to be used as a starting point.


1.) If you carry a bag which says, "Kenneth Cole, New York" on it you're NOT bohemian.

2.) If you're a millionaire who stages readings for audiences of rich people in lavish Versailles-like palaces outside San Francisco you're NOT bohemian.

3.) If you're mentored by Professor Joyce Carol Oates at Princeton you're likely NOT bohemian.

4.) If you have a summer retreat on Fisher's Island you're NOT bohemian.

5.) If you attend black-tie affairs with $10,000 tables you're NOT bohemian.

6.) If you're a hard-nosed ass-kissing yuppie in a business suit working 9-5 at an office building in Manhattan you're NOT bohemian.

7.) If you support the status-quo arts establishment at every turn you're NOT bohemian.

8.) If you're from an approved School or Salon and disdain outsider voices you're NOT bohemian.

9.) If you think you need an MFA degree to be a writer or artist you're NOT bohemian.

10.) If you write for MediaBistro you're NOT bohemian.

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