Saturday, January 12, 2013

Literary World Wrestling

Literary World Wrestling is an apt way to describe Tom Bissell’s ULA essay. The essay’s narrative was created in advance. The outcome was assured. Rehearsed and ready. Bissell then jumped into the ring to toss around a stuffed dummy named Ranger Rick, while the herd audience cheered loudly. “Yaaaay!!” Gullible reviewers in the audience like Maria Bustillos, Garth Hallberg, and Johannes Lichtman were too brainwashed to see the presentation as staged hoax. They believe Literary World Wrestling is real.

At the end of the fake match, smirking Bissell raised his arms in the air, while Literary World Wrestling chief Dave Eggers, dressed in a referee’s costume, declared him the victor. The verdict, of course, though it was fake, can never be appealed.

Tom Bissell took the L.W.W. trophy home with him. There it sits on his mantle, glittering and fake. I’m sure he believes in its reality. Let’s hope he never has to meet a live opponent.


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JeffOYB said...

To give props to Crazy Carl, if only Bissell/Eggers was as cool as WWF... In WWF it's a show with TWO players, with ALL pros, everyone is in on it. In the Lit Scene they won't let anyone else play. If they played with us then all boats would rise. A "Big Match" would draw attention to Lit. Sure, it would be showbiz. What isn't? But they're not PRO enough! They're content with OFFICE WORK! PAPER WORK! Why not spice things up for a change? said...

:) Yeah, at least the WWF guys know how to tell a story.