In its mission to gain as much expertise as possible for its board of directors, CLMP could search even further for talented corporate bigs who love literature.
A few suggestions:
1.) BILL GATES.
Why not the best? No one knows better how to create a business from scratch. Gates could further standardize the industry, so that ALL writers are interchangeable and alike, with the technical efficiency and smoothness of Microsoft. (Many believe author Jonathan Franzen has reached this level of robotic accomplishment.)
2.) WILLIAM FORD JR.
Now that this scion of wealth has run his family's company into the ground (as well as the Detroit Lions football team) and stepped down as Ford Motor CEO, there might be a place for him with CLMP. He well fits the pattern of privileged lit-folk like Rick Moody: a modestly talented well-connected "nice guy" with an effective smile.
3.) THE WALTON FAMILY.
If CLMP is embarked on the direction of whole-hearted embrace of monopoly, why not go all the way? If nothing else, Wal-Mart's owners would help regain literature's audience. Of course, they might offer too useful advice: put all American writers out of business and import poets and novelists from China!
4.) KARL ROVE.
If you're going to recruit high-priced political consultants, then instead of bringing in someone whose last client lost his election by a record margin, go for a man with a track record of success. Word is that Rove is feeling the heat and may soon be available. Who better to restore Rick Moody's glamor? He's put W across as a populist "man of the people." All banker's son Moody has to do is learn to mispronounce a few key phrases, wear cowboy boots, squint a little bit, and his lectures to small-press folk about rugged individualism and how to make it through the obstacles of life might be believable.