We've done the demi-puppets a favor the last couple days by allowing them to briefly escape the oppressive bourgeois phoniness of their own blogs.
Has anyone actually read Maud Newton, Galleycat, Sarvas, and the rest? Have you noticed the rigid conformity and sameness? Ritualistically sucking-up to such an extent; bowing and genuflecting on cue over every establishment-writer event; lavishing insincere praise on their aristocratic overlords; all while playing the role of "Writer" with a capital W and with constipated expressions, has to be exhausting.
They clearly enjoy hanging out in our neighborhood, where they can drop their plastered-on faces of literary importance and practice being human. Not with their own names of course. After all, when all is said and done they're still puppets!
Much has been made by them of their "cooperative" (blatant rip-off of the ULA without the edge or the fun). All they've done to date is write the word self-importantly on the side of the large toybox in which they dwell. At the end of the day the establishment caretakers who control their strings come to collect them. "Hmm. Curious," one of the caretakers ponders, rubbing his chin. "Several of the marionettes are scattered all over the room!"
He collects the toy-like things, formless and lifeless, without spines or substance, in his hands. Then carefully, before closing the lid, he arranges them back in their proper places in the puppet box.
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13 comments:
You sure seem to spend enough time hanging out here. Don't you have your own clubhouse? Pretty stuffy and boring, I guess.
(Thanks again for the imitation blog. I'll mark you down on my list of fans. Care to join my fan club? Few have engaged in such sincere flattery as yourself.)
Don't forget to send the translations to Mr. Birkerts. He gets off on unreadable junk. If it's in a foreign language he can't understand, it's an added bonus!
p.s. Let's be honest. You spent the entire day watching my blog to see when I might post something-- then got immediately on.
Keep watching. I may post something else!
I love my fans.
The ULA is certainly ripe for satire - as KW mentioned, writer DB Pedlar made some hilarious comments about it on the alt.zines newsgroup. But you're pathetic, "Orlando." Whining at length about *someone else's irrelevance*... damn, that's good times. Go ahead and disappear.
Current Incarnation of Ezekiel Brutus::
Your extreme bile and petty nature are coming through loud and clear in the way your lamb's brain interprets the ULA. Self-pity, jealousy, and bitterness have nothing to do with us. We're angry, and parlaying that anger into healthy ACTION that has and will continue to shake some LIFE into the lit-world.
Those who dismiss us as delusional mediocrities might have trouble processing the stimuli they encounter in the world. Pick up a copy of the New Yorker lit mag and your local newspaper, then read a few ULA Monday Reports and our current Slush Pile zine. Does anything come together for you? Any clues about the world we live in and the state of literature today?
Enjoy foaming at the mouth over Karl's posts and Noah's comments. Any active ULA member expends more literary dynamism in a day than you'll ever smell in your lifetime. What are you doing then, once you click off the computer? What are you working toward, besides your next bitchy, anonymous, off-base blog post?
It's kind of funny that those "calling me out" don't even exist! The word demi-puppets, as used in the Shakespeare play, applied to illusions-- ghosts-- which vanished with the light of day. The "sour green ringlets of night." It applies very well to the anony-mice.
Apparently, no writer is allowed to take a stand against misdeeds and corruption. The things we've pointed out are hardly slander, but in each case have been itemized and documented. Adam Hardin has given examples among these comments. Why do you not address them?
Tearing down? Tearing down what? Fakirs and posers who scam the system for all it's worth? No, in fact, along with other ULAers, I'm helping to build an alternative-- which is what the ULA is really about, and which really bothers people.
The ULA empowers those who belong to it. We're not begging supplicants fighting for establishment crumbs. Ours is a very positive message-- one which should attract all writers who comprehend it.
Much is made about the press coverage we've received. This seems to bother people. For us-- writers with no standing, connections, or resources-- it was merely a necessity. The coverage gave us a name and a foundation, upon which we are now building.
Noah-- why I deleted your comments.
1.) I think you have the wrong ex-ULAer.
2.) It's not our policy to war with other undergrounders. The person in question, whatever his faults, is an authentic underground writer. We have enough other targets to go after.
To others who might be reading this:
There are only six ex-ULAers, four of whom, as far as I know, hold no grudge against me or the team, have simply moved on to other endeavors. (I saw fellow founder Doug Bassett a couple months ago. We had a friendly conversation.)
The fifth did post something on this blog. Since, we've come to a tentative agreement-- I hope-- that he would stay off as long as I didn't mention him in my posts. His request. As far as I know, this agreement holds.
Yes, it's true, a few former ULAers were praised to the hilt by me, ironically enough, including the two with mysterious grievances. To a couple applies the saying, "A gigantic ego wrapped around a core of insecurity"-- they rely on the tried and the safe, hate to be upstaged, trust no one, cling to old grudges like security blankets, and are incapable by nature of taking risks, and so have deprived themselves, by choice, of the ULA adventure that will expand over the next months in front of their eyes. Regretfully, they've chosen not to participate.
About the one who likely HAS been posting on this blog: If the person had spent one-tenth the energy on working for our Alliance, instead of continually attacking it (including sending me crank mail), our progress would've been swifter. We'll get to the destination regardless. What most worries this person is the possibility that the seemingly insane ULA plan will actually succeed.
To Orlando:
You're a good example of the contemporary System writer. You remind me of "Evil Journalista." Remember that poster?
Like you, E.J. was full of fake bravado. He was going to do this and do that; sent me e-mails, as you have; wanted to "interview" me in fact via e-mail. The noise, despite the apparent hostility, was all about impressing me and the ULA. Like the character who tags along in "The Magnificent Seven"; like YOU; E.J.'s secret goal was to be a member of our team.
Like you, "Orlando," E.J. lacked the first requirement to be a ULAer: Having a backbone! (No ghosts allowed or desired.) As such, he and you are less than the humblest of the writers who've gathered into the ULA.
Regarding our targets: Okay, Moody and Lewis Lapham are the sons of heartless bankers-- the beneficiaries of the inequities of this society. Is that good enough?
The fact is that we take things one step at a time. Our first step-- a huge one-- is to capture literature, to make it relevant to people. Then-- the culture. We'll worry about corrupt politicians and bankers when we've greatly improved our standing.
The stupidity of our opponents: I've said again and again we're playing this like a chess game. The first third of the game is creating an unassailable position on the game board. Doing this will give us endless possibilities.
Reagrding my own motivation: Believe all you wish that it's my own personal aggrandizement. Ignore the possibilities I've passed up in order to help create the ULA. You of course, have to believe that I'm just out for myself. This makes me more understandable. Someone who actually believes what he says is a far more threatening idea.
Over time, we'll see.
Well, I see "MDG" has chosen to drop on this blog anyway. Good to see he still keeps up with the ULA!
One additional remark: the only problems in Philadelphia are the Dividers who think all forms of lit-- poetry, prose, plays-- should be ruthlessly segregated. It's a defeatist policy.
The ULA's strength comes from UNITING good undergrounders, of all kinds.
Zeke,
I'll also be sorry to see you go. You're the only one here from the anti-ULA contingent that's flirted with logic or sincerity, beneath all the psychological projection. I agree with you completely on class-based hostility. I'm straight rural middle-class. I went to college, though I don't think it made me more or less "smart" than anyone else. I do have an aesthetic beef with the awards committees and the lit-blog co-op, which I see as akin to the late-'70s schism between punk and prog rock. Although I don't see eye-to-eye with Wenclas on everything, I've witnessed his commitment to Cullen Carter and other deserving writers, and I think he's a passionate, stand-up guy who shares a lot of my ideas.
There's a screaming lack of respect on both sides of this debate. You speak of Karl's swipes against "real people," but most of his targets have refused to engage him directly. (Dave Eggers, for inst, seems fearful of Karl's germs.) If you think dealing with KW is a waste of your time, it's a waste of your time - your protracted jeremiad indicates otherwise. Almost everyone who does argue with him (the smart and the stupid alike) unwisely opts for anonymity. If you argue clearly and sincerely, I don't see what you have to fear from a Google search. And I think a little respectful self-revelation would shift everyone's tenor. If ten years online has taught me anything, it's that it's all too easy to spit on someone wearing a sheet (particularly when, as in Orlando's case, they seem desperate for it).
Mike, why don't you try being an adult for once in your life. Allow for mistakes and human error. Noah apologized like a man on his own initiative. Accept it like a man and move on.
You've been insulting me on this blog and trashing me behind my back around town. I've ignored it, because I know you're not our real opponent. With the demi-puppets put back in their puppet box, I may actually have some spare time on my hands. Do we go to war? Is that what you want? As you can see, I thrive on confrontation, while your delicate ego can't handle any criticism at all.
I suggest we save things instead for the next time we read on the same card together (if you don't threaten to beg off). Otherwise, let's drop it. We both have better things to do.
You'd better check the comments on the other threads.
The posts have now been permanently removed.
The matter is closed.
Best wishes to all concerned.
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