Wednesday, September 29, 2004

The Great Debate: A Preview

BUSH (scrunching his forehead; looking puzzled): "You see, there's this country, I-rak, and there's these, er, Terrists, and we've got to, er, De-mocracy-- got to bring 'em De-mocracy. Got to fight these, er, you know, these Terrists--"

KERRY (saluting): "If I'm elected I John Kerry will end this ghastly mistake War I John Kerry which I voted for goals principles I John Kerry after all Was misled I but to give the authorization under the Nuances I will End this Catastrophic Disaster this nightmare Campaign I Will Kill All the terrorists All I John Kerry will bring home All the troops All the campaign workers in six weeks and maybe Six Days I Will Build a Coalition of Friends and Allies and Enemies Every Country I will send More troops and get the job Done I will Solve all problems I will create Fifty Million Jobs I will Bring the Best Health Care that I get to All Americans and the World I Will Bring Eternal Peace and Chicken Cordon Bleu for Everybody Every Sunday I John Kerry--"

BUSH: "You see, if we don't win against these, er, Terrists, we've got to, er, win this, thing, you see, we're re-build-ing, bringin 'em liberty-- li-ber-ty-- I-rak, the I-raki people-- "

(Any baseball or football games that evening?)

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